poetry · syncopated thoughts in words · Trainsongs · Uncategorized

Aftermath of a difficult night. (The process of processing)

Heres the problem

Im drunk and you are passed out

Im here stuck processing all of the events of the night

While you, seemingly peacefully, processing the days events through some kind of altruistic, inate process, I am stuck here trying to process things manually with my conscience.

Knowing full well that while I am pouring mercury and lead through my mind, I am destroying everything that brought us together.

Love, Opinions you once desired to hear, but no longer do, religion, and cosmic points of view,

Things that brought us together,

Rubber cement that has not yet expired, but somehow has lost its usefulness, is lurking between us.

I want to share with you all of the discoveries I have made in my research, but I do not, because I do not wish to duplicate my unsettled state, though I fear I may have already by accident.

Tonight I heard you speak against your own youthful naiveite, as I have done many times since I discovered my own.

Still it was painful, still it was a proud moment, still I sensed that maybe if I had been a better person that it would never have come, Still I seek a cave of silence into which I can crawl to consider the things I have spoken.

Alabaster, basilisk, magic spirit, intuition of a masochist.

It’s a cautionary tale the tail to keep a soul in jail,

Or is a warning what we need to prevent getting choked by weeds?

Or is it all amalgamation, trying to produce silver from imagination,

Or is it just a chemical, trying to convince me I am not full.

 

I did not want to shut you down,

To take your thunder, steal your crown,

I wanted just to back you up,

To make you stronger, bring you luck

But still your friends are friends indeed,

A star to north, a star to east,

A star to rise, a star to drown,

Am I the star to bring you down.

An oath I made many a year

Ago, not to bring doubt or fear,

To anyone’s roots

to anyone’s ground

But doubt I have,

and you I’ve found.

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